April 14, 2008

• Ford, Powered by Microsoft

  My current rental car is powered by Microsoft.

  If that isn't enough to strike fear into a mortal heart, I don't know what is.

  The first thing I noticed at the airport last week, climbing into this ugly dark gray Ford Fusion, is a big reset button on the dashboard.  My eyes trailed down to a logo next to the gearshift, and they immediately bugged out.  "Powered by Microsoft."  What the f*%#?

  I looked at the reset button.  I looked back at the logo.  I kept thinking, "So, what, does this car 'crash' and give you the Blue Screen of Death?"  I could imagine driving down the highway and having the engine, brakes and steering suddenly lock up for no reason, and me desperately jabbing at the reset button and waiting for the car to reboot as it spins out of control and tumbles off the pavement.

  Fortunately, the only thing Microsoft powers is the voice activated sync between the car stereo and your Bluetooth enabled phone, and your iPod (or whatever) plugged into a USB port in the center console. 

  I'd been playing with it all weekend, and this morning my love and I were driving to work and she said she wanted to hear some Meatloaf.  So I said, per the Microsoft instructions, "Play artist Meatloaf."

  The car made a pleasant tone and a female computer voice responded, "Playing artist Vivaldi."

  I looked at my love.  "How did it get 'Vivaldi' out of 'Meatloaf'?"

  She shrugged.  "It'll do."

  I thought to myself, do I really want a car that has better musical tastes than I do?  I eyed the reset button, ready to push it.  Just in case.

  • 11:42 am
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